that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files are best listened to with the eyes closed !
the layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at largest and with a zoom of 125%, and my text rendering is done for these settings though they should be somewhat tolerant
of a zoom setting or two up or down
there is a distinct “unitarian church” element in zen and to have a very public slut like brad creating a certain public image of zen they find mortifying !
it's all such aload of crap, brad is a better teacher than them, yet he's still well short of the mark, zen's greatness comes from it pre-meiji 1872 edict past and a long line of competent celibates, not these married with kids idiots promulgating their mental retardness over future generations : o)
so
love
to
put
a
whiff
of
nonsense
on
the
air
be
applauded
for
making
a fart
now
that's
what
i
call
fine
art
so
love
to
put
a
whiff
of
nonsense
on
the
air
be
applauded
for
making
a fart
now
that's
what
i
call
fine
art
oddly, even toni packer's center at springwater which was a breakaway from the rochester zen center and supposedly had rejected zen, still had that very characteristic japanese zen “anal retention” shall we say : o)
also the other important thing the korean style seems to have a better grip on is adequate body movement in retreats like the repetitive bows and walking chanting, i was reading some research the other day saying that 50% of those over 60 in the general population get microstroking in the brain, imo there's no way any-one over 50 should be doing zazen and given the general state of cardiovascular health these days with autopsies on american soldiers killed in afghanistan showing that young men in their twenties have the cardiovascular systems of 40 year olds..............
i would say you should never sit except kneeling style and preferably chairs, full lotus is just an invitation to stroke : o) and you really have to think about the cardiovascular aspect and your family history
but in general the effects of zen training seem to induct a sort of blinkeredness to what life really is and create a conceptual maladaptive rigidity and wrongness that calls the whole thing into question and my final observation after many years is that people just are not cognisant of the mismatch between what is a heavily recursive and life destabilising “training” procedure and the confliciting needs of family and relationship stability and financial security ---------------- the mismatch results in the ghastly mess of arrogant “i know it all” that is so characteristic of zen people
having lived celibate for a large portion of my life, i can now see that the zen i did was useful because i always was able to go the extra mile to sort out what was wrong from what was right in terms of what is it about and there's no way i could do that with a girlfriend or family !
brad warner is a good example of a talented person getting “screwed up” by zen from not having the space of real celibacy, but still seems to promote a sort of viability of casual sex and earnest zen search which is very appealing to those who follow him : o)
brad, if you want to see you are not real (and imo you are one of the better zen teachers) you won't reply to this in the same way you banned me from your board, you just can't handle this stuff that forces you to think right back to the real roots of who you are ! nishijima was a disaster area, half baked : o)
any person claiming a japanese lineage should be deeply ashamed of their mistake in accepting it, the last authentic zen master was kusan, the korean monk !
brad warner is no fool, he's lived in japan and seen the disrespect zen is held in there because of their role in effectively promoting and enabling world war 2 and you just have to look at the repressive cultural aspects of zen to realise that they have their origin in something far more toxic than simple human bureaucracy and narrow mindedness, rather the manic and assassinative culture of japanese nationalism !
why there is a problem with letting monks marry is they then have mouths to feed and when that is the case anything goes for a yen : o)
what zen is really about is so difficult and requires such intense attention over a lifetime devoted to it, that it is out of the reach of family people and suburban living,
but people like to pretend................
i'm not sure bankei is translated correctly, this issue of translators translating their own version of what they think is the case is H U G E
it's very important to read widely and not just get fixated on zen, like emily dickinson is very good value !
toni packer's book “the work of this moment” i found helpful, bought the book
at a harvard bookstore and read it at the cambridge zen center !
understanding is a forever process, so you just plug away and let things shape, extreme understanding comes at too high a price for most so you just want to be accepting of some limitations and not worry too much, it's a very slow development anyway : o)
a fraud's a fraud
and zen teachers are demons
who self applaud : o)
a frauds a fraud
and zen teachers are demons
who self applaud : o)
despite the cold, jade flowers open on southern branches
the mountain moon shines
the morning wind blows
and i'm bitterly intent on returning to that clear fragrance again
re-translation
it's so cold in early spring yet the buds burst open on the south facing branches
the beauty of the moon shining on the rocks and streams
a wind in the morning
dreams of that fragrance and beauty
it's like i keep waking up
in a psychiatric ward
and then i look at real life
and it's also a psychiatric ward
it's like i keep waking up
in a psychiatric ward
and then i look at real life
and it's still a psychiatric ward
rose
petals
on
the
lawn,
i
chucked
them
there
rose
petals
on
the
lawn,
i
chucked
them
there
flower
doesn't
have
many
left
rose
petals
on
the
lawn,
i
chucked
them
there
flower
doesn't
have
many
left
coleman
banks
got
a
dollar
for
every
plagiarism
of
his
rumi
he'd
be
a wealthy
man
but
i
don't
think
he's
that
wealthy
just take the criticism and go with it,
like i am extremely dualistic, judgemental and aggressive : o),
so yeah i am aggressive and judgemental,
but is the judgement correct or not (first koan!)
i would ask for clarification
on what dualistic meant
as it's just a voynich word in my experience : o)
do you really feel there's no justice
in your being called
what you seem to do
which is sell something
for no commission : o)
what r u selling and why?
eileen says she did feel strange for awhile and we waited to see what would happen, the test is, does it get worse?, which fortunately didn't happen
i really think it may have been a closer call than we realised
are not what was written : 0 ( )
that's
what
i
call
a
zen
on
him
mate !
i fall into that place
where everything is music
not the fakery of silence and music : o)
but the usual bowdlerised
and sentimentally destroyed
interpretation,
words turned into candyfloss,
so to speak :o)
“the buddha-dharma cannot be known by people”
it's just meaningless garbage
i can know the buddha dharma
is orthodox,
his statement is heterodox!
i'll quote howard goldblatt (translator of the 2012 nobel winner yo man )
“ when you translate a text you’re taking this language and changing it into your own. it’s not rape, but i’ve taken it and done something terrible to it. that’s the only way i can make it available to everyone else. translators are always apologizing. we spend our lives saying
i’m sorry ”
the second issue is that he was autistic with what would called today “semantic pragmatic disorder” and scripted, that is his writings are almost entirely a kalidoscope of hackneyed buddhist phrases, cliches and negations combined in kalideoscope like patterns
the miracle is that very occasionally the patterns occasionally combine to create something that comes across clearly and are quite profound
that's what his reputation rests on basically, but you wouldn't really know these passages from the general very very poor quality translations!
with zen it's helpful to understand the notion of voynich , that what zen is really about is not meant to be obscure, but what we have been fed through many centuries of professional “voyniching” is nonsense crafted to appear meaning something deeper, when all that depth can be summed up in the words meaningless nonsense : o )
there are other issues with dogen like text integrity, more than compounded by his own schizophrenic bullshitting/voyniching
occasionally i come across something by him that is authentic , but mostly it's half-arsed rubbish, still not bad for a semantic pragmatic disordered schizophrenic homosexual : o)
well, i'm not sure about homosexual : o)
my translation of his death poem
why would you be involved
except for the teachers “perks” ?
being a teacher
means you have to be completely malfunctional
in any sort of rigorous conceptual thinking,
life smarts or planning
and blind enough
so that these weaknesses
don't give you any doubt
about being right
or your fitness to pass advice on !
the transplantation of this “married zen” from japan after WW2 into the usa also transplanted celibate traditions like zazen into married, relationship and family contexts and it simply does not work and is entirely inappropriate for these congregations !
zen today is some ghastly mess of sex scandals among teachers, wholly insufficient understanding and just general all round schizophrenia and fakery with bullshitting, excluding of what contradicts them, masterbatory practitioners bent on going to hell and taking as many as possible/they can with them
the problem is that the intensity of attention required just cannot be given in a family or relationship situation and life punishes in the usual way,
drink deep or taste not the pierian spring
what is zen about, infinity, god buddha the identity of that and it's tangible touch in life ! not wallowing in fakery, bullshit and the usual dreary human sexual provenance : o)
you actually have me banned, not for writing nasty shit but giving good advice !
that's your problem, you are sucked into the zen fakery and ultimately support it even though you are at a superficial level critical !
none of these so called teachers have abloody clue what zen is about, dull grey people caught in a malfunctional breeding paradigm !
cut back on wheat !
you are right to cry, giving your best years
to the support of a bunch of arseholes !
if you take one thing from this reply of mine it's meaninglessness and futility
as you won't publish it and may even not read or know of it
possibly having me on a spam filter !
shikantaza is just letting it flow !
but in terms of buddha, that's ok : o)
by and large,
intransigent,
made blind by self love
and stupid !
took me a while to see it ; o)
not dissing ur vision by that
i mean an explanation for seeing already dead
like a fold in time sort of
reply
physics doesn't permit wormholes ,
but it permits singularities
or partial or pseudo singularities
singularities is a collapse of reality into infinity or pseudo infinity and returning
it's not a fold, quite a different mechanism
well in that sense, a sorta of fold back
(ed. elieen asked if it was like a fold back on itself! )
yeah time dissolves which is not a wormhole
thanx for explaining
i really wanted to understand that
about ur vision
religion is really about the human circus of breeding
hui-neng was a celibate monk and has that perspective which stymies the modern zen approach wanting it both ways , a sexual/breeding paradigm and the insight of infinity, but they are not really compatible !
interestingly there was a mummy of him at his temple in china that was severely damaged by the red guards during the cultural revolution
apparently it was reconstructed, but there are the human bones you would expect in it and even jørgensen concedes it could be the original historical person as the mummy
“ however as chein-chen saw the image of hui-neng in fa-ch'üan monastery in 750 (748? ed. hui-neng died in 713) it is possible that the nan-hua monastery mummy may date back to the t'ang dynasty and may even be that of the ‘ historical ’ hui-neng ”
the above quote is an extract from
personally i think jørgensen needs the 6th patriarch to be an entire fiction as the platform sutra and other works purported to come from him totally diss seated meditation and the waste of time culture and plain wrong minded representation that arises around zen and buddhism !
buddha and jesus are entirely fictitious
the sixth patriarch may have existed,
you just can't say certainly that he did
jesus and buddha certainly did not
nor muhammad
the chinese are more reliable than the middle east about historical people existing, with bronze memorial plaques being uncovered confirming the existence of some famous early zen monks !
well he was illiterate so what you read is likely distorted by the scribes
plus real meaning partly lost
plus fictions added in
he was actually very anti hierarchy and rituals etc
a fair portion of his life he seems to have been literally hunted by the orthodox hierarchy and
nearly killed several times : o)
one time he was surrounded in a bit of bush which they set fire to ,
but he escaped by hiding in a rocky outcrop
lol, the chinese play for keeps
wormholes in space and time can't exist by virtue of the casuality constraint !
the marvellous renate loll giving a talk (58:40) on the subject : o)
wow, what a genius, she actually identifies wormholed space as being covered by string theory ! (1:02:00)
so there was no tunnel in time between me and the 6th patriarch!
that's very important !
the way it occurred and i know this is what happened at the time
was that the universe of me imploded /collapsed?
and a near singularity formed
which was close enough and specifically directed enough
for the contact to occur
and i actually came back out from the singularity
with the memory of that contact
this is a specific case of quantum fluctuations of space and time giving rise to a memory being carried out from the near singularity !
because it's quantum , it's also fuzzy as to the the exact historical occurrence of the 6th patriarch, that is , it's intrinsically unprovable one way or another !
i just find it amazing i can synchronise what actually happened to me with the very leading edge cosmological and quantum physics theories today to the extent i can predict that loop quantum gravity cosmology is correct and not string theory : o)
ed. september 2015 ,
(this page written 2012) ,
i am keeping an open mind about the theories, there are others and things are continuing to develop . .
i entered that space of infinite potential and with some magical and worked at synchronicity of quantum space time fluctations there was union with infinity !
about the historical existence of the 6th patriarch
was important,
not certainly so he existed historically
and not certainly so he didn't exist historically
and i think that is the exact case
and will remain so forever
for those useless pricks
who will eventually cannibalize my life
and make a religion out of it : o)
from that contact i think there are synchronicities that can carry forward into this more conventional relativistic space -/time : o )
that move men's hearts, unutterably vain,
worthless as withered weeds
or idlest froth amid the boundless main
emily brontë
that everybody
has something to say,
but nothing's negotiable : o(
what they know
and have got wrong
will somehow
swamp the universe
and everything
will be right?
what is it telling you?
does it reject the false
and accept the authentic?
the false saying it is authentic
is doubly false !
infinity is real ,
what is it telling you?
does it reject the false
and accept the authentic?
the false saying it is authentic
is doubly false !
if you are going plaster around the work of others
or generate a sorta of random text
with no real meaning
then what does that say?
and if you read the real rumi like in the a. j. arberry literal translation
you will see this is what he says,
not the “pumped up kicks”
of the distorted sentimentality
that is in unending quantities
on the web passing as his work
but is in fact
fatuously simplified gooeyness
that conforms rigorously
to the translator's mistaken view of the world !